The #1 reason clients come to me for online dating coaching is they're dissatisfied with the number or quality of people they're meeting. They've tried one or two dating sites but see few people they want to e-mail, have even fewer people e-mailing them, or aren't impressed with the people they finally DO meet. During 14 months of online dating on eight different sites, which led to about 50 first meetings (including my second husband), I learned many tips that work to improve online dating results.
First and foremost, you must have a winning profile, with a flattering photo and attention-grabbing headline. The photo and headline make that very first impression and are often the only things others will notice, so it's wise to put plenty of time and attention into these. Make sure the photo is a clear close-up and the headline is catchy and reflects your personality.Next, write the section about you and your match in your own words "offline," so you can think about it carefully and revise it. Don't post it online until you're satisfied that it highlights what's extra special about you and makes you a "great catch" while also capturing your sense of humor, depth and other unique characteristics. When describing your match, be specific but also compassionate (not expecting perfection in a mate) and conversational (so you sound friendly and approachable).
If it's hard for you to write about yourself, start your description with "Those who know me well say I'm ______" or have an opposite-gender friend or a dating coach help you write it.Third, make sure the first e-mail to a new prospect has these elements, to maximize the chances that the person will write back:.1) A "Wow!" or other expression to enthusiastically convey how impressed you are with that person's profile.2) A sincere compliment about something the person said in his/her profile related to values, accomplishments or personality?not just their photo or hobbies. This tells the prospect you're interested in him/her as a person.
3) A question about something that intrigued you in the person's profile, to get a conversation started and make it easier for him/her to think of what to say in reply.Fourth, use the first phone call as a "screening" device by focusing on asking some questions about things that are important to you a partner, not just idle small talk. This call is a way to decide if you want to meet the prospect in person, so be sure to listen for "red flags.".Finally, remember the 4 P's of online dating success:.1) Positive Attitude ? You must believe there's someone out there for you.
(With over 850 dating sites in the U.S., it's easy to stay positive!).
2) Proactivity ? Be the pursuer?write at least 10 e-mails a week on at least two sites (one mainstream site/one specialized site).3) Persistence ? Keep at it despite discouragement. Every "no" gets you closer to a "yes.".4) Patience ? It takes time to weed out the wheat from the chaff.
Put feelers out on two or three sites so you have to wait less between replies.
.Gayle P. Crist, M.S., founder and president of HealthyLife Planning, is a personal coach based in Doylestown, PA.Trained at the Institute for Life Coach Training, she has been coaching individuals since January, 2002. A "natural cheerleader" all her life, Gayle's passion is helping people live healthier, happier lives?especially helping single people find love. As Bucks County's Dating Coach and Singles Social Director, Gayle hosts monthly singles parties and book discussion groups, offering singles 35-65 easier, more comfortable ways to connect. Gayle knows from personal experience how hard it is for older singles to find partners nowadays.
Married for 16 years prior to her divorce in 1995, she was a single mom for 10 years before meeting her 2nd husband online at age 50. She says love "the 2nd time around" is amazing and adores helping others make the same discovery!.Gayle specializes in helping singles succeed with healthy, safe online dating; divorced people make healthy transitions into single life; those adopting healthier lifestyles; and people starting a new business.
By: Gayle Crist
